As parents, we strive to provide a safe and secure environment for our children—a place where they feel relaxed and comfortable while also being conducive to learning, growth, and development. We aim for an ideal home where everything is well-organized and life runs smoothly. However, the reality is often more challenging, even when we follow parenting advice from well-meaning friends and family.
There are days when everything seems to go wrong, and even the children start acting out, misbehaving, and making poor choices. As children grow, their unique personalities emerge, and they begin to express their preferences. This often leads to conflicts between parents and children.
Despite the frustration, there are ways to manage and correct undesirable behavior without harming the child’s unique personality and spirit, and without losing your peace of mind. This approach is known as ‘positive parenting.’
Positive parenting is an ongoing relationship between parents and their children that involves caring, teaching, leading, communicating, and consistently meeting the child’s needs unconditionally.
Unlike traditional, authoritarian, or permissive approaches, positive parenting focuses on teaching children acceptable behavior through interaction and explanation rather than simply issuing commands and expecting blind obedience.
When children understand why certain behaviors are expected, they are more likely to remember and make the right choices in the future. This understanding boosts their confidence because they know what is expected of them. Conversely, children who are constantly directed or left to figure things out on their own often struggle to understand expectations, leading to undesirable outcomes.
There are specific positive parenting tips and techniques that can help us guide our children towards desirable behavior while also supporting mental health of the kids and development into well-adjusted individuals capable of making good choices. This process requires significant effort and practice, but with time, your children will succeed, and you will be proud of their achievements.
The key to positive parenting is being positive and supportive. Try adopting these tips for good parenting, and you’ll soon be on your way –
Before we jump right in and try out the best parenting tips, we first need to commit to it, understand and internalize what positive parenting is all about –
- Continuously guiding, leading and teaching your child.
- Providing emotional support, warmth and security.
- Being sensitive to the child’s needs, being aware of the child’s developmental stage and having realistic expectations.
- Set boundaries, be consistent about it, and have regular open conversations with your child.
- A positive parenting relationship is caring and nurturing, where the child feels empowered.
- The environment should always be non-violent and provide unconditional love and affection.
- Positive parenting focuses on the positives and rewards accomplishments.
- It emphasizes the child’s feelings and always has the child’s best interest at heart.
Once we fully imbibe these parenting tips and qualities, using the following positive tips will come to you more naturally and without much effort. These are-
Give your child ample love and attention
Children love receiving attention from their parents. Simple gestures like hugs, kisses, a knowing look, an approving smile, or even a quick wink can fulfill your child’s need for attention. Often, undesirable behavior in children is a plea for attention. After all, even negative attention is better than no attention at all.
Keep them occupied
Children often engage in various behaviors when they are bored as a way to entertain themselves. To address this, keep a few activities ready, and instead of shouting at your child for misbehaving, calmly redirect their attention to these activities. Simple options like board games, puzzles, art and craft kits, or even reading can be very effective.
Set rules and be clear about the boundaries
When establishing rules, ensure to clarify them thoroughly, outlining both the expectations for your child and the consequences of rule violations. Encourage your child to ask questions and present various scenarios to help with their understanding of the rules.
Stay calm during an emotional outburst or tantrum
While emotional outbursts or tantrums can be embarrassing or bothersome, it’s crucial for parents to maintain their composure (or at least appear unaffected). Reacting strongly can worsen the situation, but if the child senses our calm demeanor, the behavior is likely to diminish. Redirecting the child’s attention to a different activity, like suggesting, “Instead of throwing your car, why not try sliding it down the slope like this or having a race with two cars,” can be beneficial.
Avoid negative reactions
When your child behaves badly, it’s important to respond in a straightforward way. Sarcasm, teasing, or getting angry might make things worse. Instead, stay calm. Take your child away from the situation and help them calm down. You can suggest simple things like “close your eyes and take deep breaths” or “let’s count to 10 together.”
Keep your expectations realistic
It’s unreasonable to expect a 4-year-old to patiently wait while you talk with friends for over 30 minutes, but it’s reasonable to expect them to eat their snack independently. Just as we can’t be perfect parents, it’s unfair to expect our child to always behave perfectly.
Give your child the guidance they need
Simply telling and explaining your expectations isn’t sufficient. Neither is resorting to punishment or shouting. Instead, focus on the positives, acknowledge the child’s effort, and gently guide them on where they can improve or what they could have done differently. For example, you could say, “It was great that you invited John over to play, but you both would have had more fun if you shared your blocks with him.”
Schedule some “me” time
This parenting advice is just as crucial as the rest. We all need time for ourselves to relax and recharge. Even if it’s not every day, try to schedule some personal time that you can look forward to every week. It can truly make a difference.
Be a good role model
Children are quick learners, often picking up behaviors by watching those around them. Therefore, demonstrate the behavior you believe is appropriate, and your child is likely to follow suit.
Encourage traits like curiosity, independence, and self-reliance in your child. As they grow older, allow them opportunities to try things on their own instead of always giving instructions. Offer gentle reminders when necessary.
Consistency in your expectations is key. If you’ve been clear and consistent, your child will likely follow the rules without constant reminders. Additionally, praising even small efforts can greatly reinforce positive behavior.
Remember the 3 F’s
Be firm, fair, and friendly – it’s one of the top parenting tips. Be firm about what you expect from your child, such as “put your toys away before playing outside”. Be fair, ensuring consequences match the action. For instance, if toys aren’t put away, the child doesn’t go out to play until they are. And be friendly, so your child doesn’t feel cornered and might even feel comfortable explaining why they didn’t tidy up their toys.
Don’t give up
Children are inherently good and seek parental approval and love. By employing positive parenting techniques with patience, perseverance, humor, and plenty of love, you can address all your child’s challenges. Eventually, your child will become well-adjusted, happier, and more confident.
Conclusion
Parenting is a tough job, and it’s important not to have unrealistic expectations. There’s no such thing as a perfect child or a perfect parent. We all have our good and bad days. However, if we consistently apply positive parenting strategies, we can raise happy, healthy children who are considerate of others and contribute positively to society. This reassures us that we’re doing our best as parents.
