One of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make for your child is their name. It’s a decision that will be with them through their whole life. A name should sound good when spoken aloud and be easy to pronounce. It should also be spelled the way you prefer. You should also consider potential nicknames and initials.
1. It’s a Lifetime Decision
Bestowing a child with a name is one of the first and most far-reaching decisions that parents make. This is why it is no wonder that so many people agonize over this choice and spend hours poring over baby names, books, websites, forums and anything else they can find to help them choose the perfect name for their little bundle of joy.
The name you give your child will have an impact on them for the rest of their life. It can define who they are, affect their career choices and even the types of friends they make. For example, if your child has the first name Daniel you are more likely to see them as a carpenter than a doctor because of the “nominative determinism” that exists in our culture.
This is why it’s so important for a couple to sit down together and talk about what kind of name they would like for their baby. This doesn’t mean that grandparents or close family members can’t offer suggestions but they should be willing to accept that it’s up to the parents to decide and they should have final say.
2. It’s a Personal Choice
The decision to name your baby is a personal one, and it’s no wonder parents struggle with the pressure of finding the perfect match. After all, a child’s name is an indelible part of their identity that they’ll carry with them for the rest of their lives. It can even influence their gender, and we’re now seeing more and more parents opting for names that challenge the traditional male-female binary.
However, it’s also important to remember that a baby’s name is just a small piece of the larger pie. In reality, the choice doesn’t make that much of a difference in a kid’s life outcomes. Researchers like Stanford professor Sam Figlio have analyzed thousands of names to find that the actual first name itself doesn’t have that much impact on how successful a person will be. What does have a big effect, according to his research, is how a name sounds and how easy it is to pronounce.
That’s why it can be useful to have a few naming tricks up your sleeve. Consider flipping a coin or putting your top name choices in a hat to let fate choose for you, or hire a professional baby naming consultant who can create a list of potential names based on your guidelines. This could be a fun way to take some of the pressure off of yourself and your partner and allow them to be more creative in their search for the ideal name.
3. It’s a Decision for Your Family
When choosing a baby name, think about what it will say about you as parents. It will shape your family’s identity, how other people will perceive you, and the way you’ll be addressed for years to come. The difference between surname vs first name is that surname is the family name and is preceded by middle name and first name.
This is why it’s a good idea to discuss baby names early in the relationship, before things get too crazy. It’s important to have a clear agreement on who gets the final say, so that one parent doesn’t start a power struggle over something that will affect their child for the rest of their life.
Even if someone in your immediate family doesn’t like the name you choose, it’s best to stick with it. This will show them that you’re firm about your decision and are willing to stand by it. Eventually, they’ll learn to accept it and the name will grow on them over time.
If you feel like your family members aren’t getting on board with the name, try giving them some time to process it. Give them a chance to have a conversation about it with you, so they can express their concerns and why they feel the way they do. Also, remember that they don’t have to agree with or like your decision, but they should respect it. This is the best way to keep family conflict to a minimum and ensure that your child’s name is a positive reflection on your family.
4. It’s a Decision for Yourself
Finding out you’re pregnant is thrilling, but it also means a tidal wave of information (and unsolicited opinions) rushing at expectant parents. One of the most important decisions you’ll make during this exciting time is your baby’s name.
Aside from a family name that’s been passed down for generations or a trendy name you fell in love with from your favorite show, it’s likely the most unique and personal part of your child’s identity. That’s why many families are finding comfort in choosing names that have a historical meaning or that are culturally significant.
Other parents find that they’re inspired by a place or even the spot of conception. And some moms and dads want to give their kids a name that’s different from their siblings—a way of showing them how much they love and appreciate them.
It’s also worth considering how the name will stand the test of time. A trendy name may sound silly in 10 years, and your child could be teased mercilessly for sharing their moniker with a porn star or pop-culture icon.
Plus, think about how you’ll feel when your child’s friends shorten their name to Kate or Andrew. You don’t want them to have an unwanted nickname, right?